not bad at all dude. Not the most ingenious directorial way of pushing a story forward with the "to the camera" shots, but overall it is successful, it's concise, the cinematography is nice, the acting is decent, the script is very nice, sound is good. (which are pretty damn rare traits in shorts). thumbs up!
Wow... looks great! It may be a little lengthy for the content, but this is the internet... it would probably play much better in a festival screening or something. Nice work!