EXCUSES, EXCUSES: What motorists busted on their mobile phones say

goanna

(to police..)

Woman on the Monash Freeway in peak hour said she had an urgent email to reply to.
Driver on the Mornington Peninsula said she was on the phone to a friend whose house burnt down the previous night.
"I've got a sick relative I need to speak to.''
"I'm not talking. I'm reading a message."
"I'm working and had to pick it up otherwise I miss the job."
"I'm just letting my family know I'm on my way home."
"Just listening to my voicemail."
"I was running late and had to get someone to pick up the kids."

Also, from the French comedy series. "Les inconnus":

Mais ce n'est pas un téléphone, c'est une calculatrice!